Hidden Tears
by twinsezax0x
Summary: Massie Block has everything that any girl could ever want. But what happens when life suddenly and unexpectedly takes a turn in direction. Will death be the reason for Massies tears ? Or is she just made out of stone?
1. Chapter 1

**On the phone with Dylan**

"Okay your not going to believe it Chris Abley or should i say Babley is single , yes i know what the hell. Well turns out him and Fond or Frankinstine are over each other and so they should be, i mean 3 years is enough for a junior relationship. Massie his single" Dylan said practically screaming.

"OMG times a million , i am the luckiest girl in the world. Don't worry he wont be single for long,I'm definitely next on his agenda and i know his next on mine" i said smiling so hard it hurt.

"You know it. Well anyway where all meeting up tonight Aleisha, Kristen and Chris , i think his bringing a friend with him tonight , so who knows maybe I'm in with a chance. Where meeting up at cafe Rich at 6:00 p.m. can you make it" she said

"Dah of course, ill come maybe a little later though, maybe 6:20 so i can make an appearance" i said

"Cool of course , got a cute outfit " Dylan said stupidly

" Ahh hello I'm Massie Block for heavens sake. Who do you take me for a homeless person that dresses boho chick like Misha barton ,of course I've got an outfit. Anyway ill meet you there and get ready to gasp this outfit is gonna be hot. Like omg time 100 hot. " i said just thinking of the clothes

We exchanged good byes and i stared in to the mirror at my beautiful reflection. Figuring out what to wear was a big decision that i couldn't mess up. Having the biggest wardrobe in the whole house (or neighbourhood) didn't make the decision any easier. But of course the Dolci and Gabbana dress was a must ,with black lace leggings and Robert Robert heals .Not to mention my new sass and bide mini jacket for the cool weather , and to top it off my Chloe Hand bag. Yes perfect just like me.

I quickly got dressed then headed toward the kitchen to let my mum no where i was going.

Walking into the empty kitchen i realised no one was there.

"MUUUM , DAAAD" i screamed louder than a baby crying for milk

Still no sound. No one.

As i started walking out of the kitchen my mum entered.

" Finally Mum I've got to go me and the girls are meeting up to go for hot chocolate , Isaac will drop me off okay. Bye " i said hurrying off it was already 6:00 i had to get going.

"Sorry honey but you cant go i have to go over to my sisters house because she needs someone to baby-sit, her and dan have an emergency meeting and your dad is still at work ,he should be back later he said he wanted to take you out for ice cream .Some father daughter bonding time" she said

"Bonding time ,what , why. We bond .When i go shopping i think of him when i pay the bill with his credit card" i said staring at her with my eyebrows almost down to my nose.

" Oh how silly of me to forgot about that bonding time." She said sarcastically

I gave her a look that meant sarcasm was not called for at this particular moment.

"Don't give me that look" she said pointing at me.

" It's my look for when I'm annoyed take a note .Anyway mum i have to go its like an emergency meeting , just like like Aunt and dan.

"Oh really .There emergency is the world hunger domination meeting , what's your emergency Massie ?" she said staring at me with one eyebrow way higher than the other.

I was stuck nothing could beat the world hunger domination meeting excuse not even getting tickets to Opera's give away show, even if they gave away free cars. To Mum aunt Sheryl and Dan were like gods , helping starving children and saving lives ,she'd always wanted to do it ,but with her work she was always way to busy. Its one of her dreams and i know one day she will fore fill it.

"Well umm it might not beat that meeting but it comes close" i said knowing this answer could make or brake me.

"Oh really, do tell" she said with her arms crossed and with a smirk on her face.

i hate that look , it means she knows I'm about to lie.

"It is the opening night of um , Cafe Rich's new low fate ice cream Sundae .Yes opening night .LOW FAT MUM , LOW FAT .I have to go." i said obviously lying.

"I get it low fat , but wait , i thought you guys were going for hot chocolates" she said curiously

" Oh so your a private investigator now ? " i said angrily because i knew the low fat ice cream sundae excuse went down the drown

"Im sorry honey but no , your dad wants to take you out anyway." she said looking for her keys

"Mum i cant miss out on tonight this could be the best night of my life i have to go." i said screaming

"well I'm sorry but all you do these days is hang out with your friends ,your dad wants to take you out so your staying" she said sounding very stern as if she knew she would win.

"But mum..." i said moaning like a 5 year old

"No BUTS your staying and that's that.

"Arghhh" i yelled and ran to my room.

I ran straight to my bed when my iphone started ringing, it was Dylan, i walked over to my desk and answered it.

" Promise not to kill me" i said feeling guilty.

"I don't know if i can keep that promise. Where are you ? , i know you wanted to make an appearance but it 6:15 and where losing conversation" Dylan said whispering

" OMG I'm so sorry i was fighting with my mum or so called monster and i guess i lost track of time she wont let me go, apparently dad wants to take me out for ice scream or something so i cant go! " i said half shouting half moaning.

"WHAT you have to come its Chris Abley for heavens sake "Dylan said screaming now.

"URGHH i know but what can i do she really stressed out about work and i know no matter how hard i try i cant win this battle. I don't want to talk about it anymore .Im going to go and cry about my life " I said

"OMG well fine then you owe us big time "she said against her will and hung up.

I jumped onto my pillow and started thinking .I cant believe my mum did this to me , she normally always says yes. But today it was a big fat no .She can be so mean when she wants to be.

I HATE MY MUM. I really really hate her !

I started screaming into my pillow just as the (devil) walked in.

"Massie don't be so dramatic, your dads down stairs and i have to go ,I'm sorry sweetie okay. Il see you later okay."

I said nothing back i didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that i have forgiven her. As she left i watched her car leave the house from my window.

I went back to my bed and laid down and started crying again , tear after tear it just wouldn't stop ,i wasn't used to people saying no to me at least not my own mother. I soon fell asleep on my bed until dad walked in the room. I realised it was now 9:30.

"Omg dad i fell asleep ,why didn't you wake me ? " i said yawning

" You looked to peaceful , i couldn't do it . I guess there's no time for ice cream now ha , mum told me about your little argument , it will be fine don't worry" he said sweetly

"I don't want it to be fine dad , and i will not be the one worrying she will ,your on my side right" i said hoping he would say yes.

I mean so far he was the only parent i could trust.

"Honey i don't pick sides you should know that" he said

I hoped he wouldn't be the nice guy for just one night. I guess that hope was now blown out the window.

"Now go and get into your pyjamas." he said as i just realised i was still in my d and c dress.

"Oh man my d and c dress is all wrinkled" i said moaning once again .Moaning can so not be good for your skin. Or your pores , especially when you cringe your forehead like i normally do.

"Im sure it will be fine , now get to bed .Want me to tuck you in ? " he said sweetly

Even though i was 16 he still would do this .I'm sure he would read to me if i asked him but hey ,i got to grow up some time right ?

" No its fine dad" i said yawning again

"Okay good night darling"

"Night" i said walking to my closet as he closed the door.

I soon fell asleep dreaming about what might of happen if I'd gone that night.

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**Hours later**

BEEP BEEP BEEP it was 7:30am and my alarm must be broken because it went off way earlier then i had asked.

I quickly hit my alarm and wiped my eyes .I heard lots of chatters downstairs and headed down there. As i was walking down the stairs i looked thought the railings to see lots of police officers there all surrounding my dad . I stopped myself for a moment ,trying to understand what must of happened. I shook my head and headed down the stairs .

As the cops started to leave my dad turned around and looked right at me ,he looked pale but not like he's seen a ghost pale more like bad news pale. He grabbed my shoulders and kept staring at me .A tear came rushing down his face but his expression didn't change. He just kept staring. I got a little freaked out i mean he was fine last night when he came to my room , how much can happen in a night ?

I wanted to ask him what was wrong but i was scared ,i had never seen my dad like this before and in a way, i don't think i wanted to know what had happened. The tear now stained his pale face and his lips started to open but then quickly closed again. He looked down. i had to say something ,the suspense was killing me.

Was it Aunt Sheryl or dan. Did something happen to them ?

"Dad what's wrong" i said without noticing how shaky my voice was. I had told my self to stay tough. No matter what the news was.

He looked back up at me with his big brown glittery eyes and started to cry even more , this time with heaps of expression on his face. He grabbed my shoulders tighter and we stayed like that for what felt like hours , but in reality was minutes.

He finally let go and wiped his tear stained face. He moved his lips and i knew this was it , he was going tell me.

"Massie there's been an accident" he said shakily, very shakily.

I didn't dare say anything back i was to frightened of what he might say next it was like a bomb ticking so loudly, i was waiting for the boom. Which was weird you never wait for the boom but in this case the suspense was the one killing me , and keeping me alive.

"Your mother has been in a car accident ....... Darling I'm sorry but she passed away last night. Massie she's dead"

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**Hi guys...I'm back. Im so sorry i haven't written in a long time.I have been so busy. But i hope you guys enjoy my version of "clique". Thought i'd try something new. so send me your reviews and let me know what you think so far. xoxox cya**


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes widened but i stood still very still.

I stayed in that position for what seemed like hours. Just standing there trying to soak in what I had just been told.

My mothers dead, my mothers dead ,it can't be , i just saw her last night. She was there ,then how can she be gone now?

I didn't know what to do. Dad was just standing there leaning on the sofa head and looking down crying so hard i though he was having a panic attack. All i could do was stand there and not move .I would've expected tears if my mother had died . But no tears. It was like they didn't want to come out.

Dad lifted his head while removing his tears from his eyes.

"Darling we have to go to the accident and identify your mother properly".

I laughed at this ,how could he one minute tell me my mothers dead and the next minute tell me there's a chance she might not be. Once again the tears started pouring out of dads eyes whereas mine . No tears , not one drop.

Wait a minutes maybe I'm not crying , because its not real , maybe this is a joke. Would my dad joke about something like this? would he?

I stood there in the same position for a long time . Trying to figure out what was going on. Then i couldn't take the silence anymore so I ran to my room.

I ran all the way and slammed my door shut. I ran to my mirror and sat down on my seat. I starred at myself for a long time trying to figure out if this was real or not.

In my heart I really wanted it to be a joke but in my head I knew my dad would never make a stupid joke like that. I stared at myself longer .I leaned in closer to my reflection .I touched the mirror, and then slowly touched my cheeks. I closed my eyes and thought again about what just happened .I was so angry at myself. For not saying anything. For just standing there like an idiot while my father cried so hard i though he was going to explode.

I hit my self on my face. A red mark slowly started appearing on my pulpy skin ,but no tears. I started screaming and then hit myself harder. Still no tears .I hit the mirror really hard and hit it again and again until i heard a crack. I started yelling so loud I thought my ears would burst. I don't even know what i was saying , I was just screaming louder each time .I was like a kid again screaming when my mum said I could have any ice-cream.

I got up and kicked the chair, then kicked the wooden legs of my bed. I screamed louder. I just wanted to get rid of the pain or at least get a reaction from the it. Maybe a tear. Normally everything would go by my tears but now my tears wouldn't work, as if they were useless .So my only option was to smash everything in my path .I jumped on my bed and chucked the sheets around .I got my pink bedside lamp and smashed it on the floor. I could see my face going red, my veins were sticking out of my ams. The glass shattered and went all over the white carpet.

My dad ran in to the room and just starred at my room in shock. Normally I had always been really clean and took care of everything but at that moment I felt like it didn't matter. No matter how much mess there was , it would never matter.

I starred at my dad. He looked saddened by my room. Not by the mess. But i think at my reaction to the news .Even thought I didn't think he could get any sadder. I starred at him with an apologetic look on my face .He nodded in a way that i knew he was accepting of my reaction.

"But there still could be a chance. We have to go and see the body. Maybe it wont be her and she's still alive. Come on lets go" i said so quickly I didn't even think about what i was saying.

I looked at him one more time then I started running for the front door. I ran straight past the wooden staircase and passed the glass chandelier. I grabbed my coat and put it on. I still had my pyjamas on underneath , but fashion was the last thing on my mind right now. My dad soon followed and we were out the door in no time.

An awkward silence filled the air on the way to the accident. As we drove to the scene I started to get butterflies. Butterflies fluttering around so much I didn't think I would be able to move .I started to get a really bad headache so i let my head rest on the leather seat. This couldn't be happening. Its meant to be a normal Sunday morning .My mother should be making coffee and breakfast ,my father should be reading the news paper at the table and I should be asleep like the lazy person of the family.

I looked at my watch. It's was now 8:30 a.m . Mum should be yelling at me to wake up so I can take my dog bean for a walk. This shouldn't be happening .Its all wrong. This should not be happening right now.

We arrived at the scene and I took a deep breath, this was it. I saw my mums car and I felt like I needed more air. The car was all smashed up .It was upsetting to see my mothers car being towed into a tow truck. It felt as if she was being towed away with it, like it was all over. There were police officers everywhere and 3 paramedics putting 2 people in the ambulance one of them be my mother.

My dad stopped the car and he took of his seat belt. He hesitated for a moment then looked at me.

"Stay here for a minute , okay" he said very still.

I slowly nodded and he jumped out of the car.

I saw him walk all the way up to the police officer. The man looked sad and tired. He then directed my dad to the scene.

I wanted to get out of the car and go see if it was my mum ,But I couldn't pull myself together. I just wanted to stay in this position forever. At this rate it was better to not know ,than to know.

I closed my eyes and started to think. About everything, about what happened last night, the fight my mother and I had .At how my mum had said bye and how i didn't say anything. How I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she had won. How could i be so childish ? I started cringing at what I was imagining until I was interrupted by my dads phone. It said aunt Sheryl on it. I couldn't bare to move ,i couldn't answer. What would is say ? I sat there still for longer than i antisipated and closed my eyes. I continued cringing about this tragic Sunday morning. Until the phone stopped ringing .I looked at it then looked out the window.I saw something on the ground. It was small and sparkly.

My first instinct was to go see what it was. But my instincts weren't working right I just sat there and wondered what it could possible be. Until I was sick of being suspenseful. I slowly opened the car door and shut it trying to be quiet. My father turned around at the sound of the door shut and closed his lips.

When he turned back around to talk to the officer, I walked over to the piece of glittery substance. I could only see a little bit of it but for some reason I was fascinated with it. I slowly walked closer towards it until I could touch it. It was behind the wheel of my mums car. I reached for the bright metal and pulled it out from behind the wheel. With it in my hand, at a snail pace I got up and looked it at it. It was my mums necklace. It was perfectly shaped just like her one had been . At that moment , just staring at this insignificant piece of jewelry ,I looked at it differently .Like i was seeing it through different eyes. Before it was just a neckless my mother never took off. But now it was the most exemplary piece of jewelry , that shined more than a moon at its peek.

I cupped the piece of metal in my hand and closed my eyes. This was it. Just holding this necklace made it feel like she was really was gone. I put the neckless in my pyjama pocket and opened my eyes. I pulled my shoulders back. I put my head up high and told myself to pull it together ...for my father. I started walking towards my dad until he slowly turned around.

He looked at me with glistening eyes and an apologetic frown. Like it was his fault. He then nodded and gave me this look, and I could just see it in his eyes, that it was true. She did die. She was gone.

That nod explained so much. It meant the one person who had been there for me always, was now gone. It meant I was now motherless. But mostly what meant most was that , i didn't say good bye to the one person i saw everyday.

More tears erupted from my fathers face .I slowly walked over to him and tightly tugged my arms around his chest and leaned my head on his shoulder. For just that single moment it was as if the world had stopped and it was just me and him that existed. At that Moment no one knew what it felt like. We were the only ones that new what had happened. She was gone. And that was the end of it. Life was what was happening around us, While my father and i just stood there wrapped in each-others arms hoping or praying for this to be a dream or in this case a nightmare. What were we going to do now. One member of our family was now gone. Taken away. Not only from the world. But from our hearts .

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**Hey guys, this is the second chapter. Thanks for all the reviews and for the advice. More chapters should be coming soon. So i hope you enjoy and keep reviewing.**

**XoXo Sera**


	3. Chapter 3

**1 week later**

I woke up to find my dad lying on the couch starring at the ceiling. He looked tired and older. Bags circling his eyes and his hair looking long and oily. He hadn't shaved in a week and you could start to tell. He was ageing before my eyes.

I walked over to him and sat on the couch. We sat there for a long time not saying anything. Which was the usual considering the situation we were in. We hadn't talked at all since the accident purely based on the fact that neither of us knew what to say.

What do you say to the person who has just lost their wife ,soul mate and best friend. And what would you say to a person who had lost lost there mother. My father and I had both just lost the one person we took for granted , and we were paying for it now.

Aunt Sheryl and Dan tried helping my dad out by talking to him, but he wouldn't talk to anyone. Barely even me.

The funeral was a rude awakening. It went past so quickly it was as if it had never happened. All I remember was the people. They kept saying "I'm sorry" and offering their condolences. Dylan, Kristen and Alicia were there, all our family and friends had come together.

Why is it when someone dies everyone comes together. I hadn't seen all my family and friends together in a situation like this in ages. Did my mum have to die, just so this gathering could occur.

"Dad" I said hoping we could start figuring out what we were going to do.

He turned towards me and starred for a long time. After minutes had passed ,he finally spoke

"You looked just like her" he's voice said shakily.

I didn't know what to say. I did look like my mother just like she looked like hers.

I smiled just thinking of her.

"We have to do something ,we cant live like this. You need to get up "I said attempting to change the conversation.

"I'm sorry. This is my fault I shouldn't be moping around when I have you to look after."

"Its not your fault ,you've been through prostration" I said hoping to make him feel better.

"So. Your shocked to. Your sad. Your the child " He said getting up for the first time in days.

"I haven't even cried, I don't know what's wrong with me " I said starting a conversation ,i now wanted to take back.

"Its normal. Don't worry. At least your not crying as much as i am. I've cried more in the last couple of days then I have in my whole life !" He said trying to lighten the mood.

I was happy to see my father feeling better again. He still wasn't the same as before. But I don't think anyone is at the beginning.

"What are we going to do now " I said trying to figure out what was next for the "Blocks".

"Well firstly I think we should move. Not permanently but for now. Someplace far from here. I think we both need a new environment so that we can sort everything out slowly." he said talking so much at his stage it was a record.

"Okay.....But where ? "I said hoping his streak would last.

"Well the lions offered us a stay in there house. Remember jay, my best friend from business school. He lives in Florida ,and he thinks it would be best if we took a break from our lives for a couple of months" he said softly but surely

"And are where going to go ?" i said wondering if we were really going to move.

"Well I think its best also. But you do have a say in this "he said reassuringly.

"Well if anything, your the one that needs to sort out everything . I feel fine" I said truthfully

"Massie you don't have to lie to me , if your not coping, you an tell me " He said staring at me with those bags under his eyes.

"Dad I'm seriously fine. Yeah its going to take some getting used to but it should be okay in the end " I said

"Okay hunny well I'm going to call them and let them know" he said

"Do they have kids?" I asked curiously

"Yeah a son named Todd and a daughter Claire. She's your age "He said hoping that made me feel better.

"Cool"I said casually

**2 hours later **

After calling the girls and telling them about the little trip my father and I were taking , I felt relieved none of them fought to give my father and I there farewells, especially since I said I didn't want then to come. I don't think I needed or wanted their pity.

I had packed my bags and gotten dressed and was almost ready to leave. I walked down the stairs to see my dad waiting on the couch. He cleaned up good when he tried. He had shaved and washed his hair .But even though he looked better I still knew he was just trying to look like he as coping for, me.

"So I guess this is it. where just going to leave " I said curiously.

"I think its for the best right now " he's said reassuringly

I nodded slowly as he got up.

"So your ready to leave ?"

"Ready as I'll ever be" I said, slowly exhaling

As we reached the front door he opened it for me , signalling for me to go before him. As I walked out I inhaled the air and to my surprise ,it felt so cold and fresh. Especially after I had barely gone outside since the funeral.

Just as the door lock I screamed

"WAIIT ! "

"what ? what's wrong?" he asked frantically

"I forgot something"I said and ran inside the second he unlocked the door.

I ran all the way back into my room and pulled open my draws.

I rummaged through all the clothes until I saw the pyjamas I was wearing when I woke up to hear the devastating news. I quickly pulled them out of the draw and emptied the pockets until I found the neckless. I starred at the neckless for ages, until my dad turned up right behind me in my room.

"Where did you get that? " he said curiously and gratefully

"I found it next to her car. I must of forgotten about it until now" I said feeling like an idiot for forgetting.

"Can I see it" he said starring it at it just as gratified as i was.

I handed the neckless over to him and he grabbed it so delicately ,as if any breakage would mean life was officially over.

"Lucky you didn't forget this" he said smiling

He looked happier then he had ever been since the accident

"yeah" I said in fact feeling very lucky

"Let me put it on you" he said

"Are you sure"

"Of course, she would have wanted you to wear it " he said with a tear in his eye.

I turned around and held my brown locks in front of my shoulders. Just the feeling of the arctic metal against my skin felt gratifying.

"Perfect" he said once it was on.

I thanked him and we soon left for Florida. On the way to a journey that I knew i would never forget.

**Florida**

As we walked up the pavement into the lions house I felt nervous. Who was this Claire girl? And would she be like Dylan ,Kristen and Alicia ?Would she dress the same? .Would she talk the same?

As we got closer to the door , I investigated my outfit a second time.

Sass and bide top and a white coat topped of with black lace stockings and a Prada dog handbag which I carried bean in.

My friends would be proud. With a fashion statement like this I was bound to make an impression.

When we got to the door my father rang the door bell and I started to tense up. The nerves were getting the better of me. This never happened. As the door opened I saw 4 people .A little boy that I assumed was "Todd", the mother and a guy that I knew was Jay. I remembered him from photos. And lastly there was a blonde girl that was wearing overalls and a pink ...OH MY GOD ,Overalls. What's worse than a fashion don't , Its a fashion don't even think about it ! Hello Florida is not a farm state. I don't see any cows anywhere .Why is she wearing that piece of material. Urgh I couldn't bare to stare any longer.

"Hi your looking better man. Its so great to see you . I'm so happy that you decided to stay." Jay said kindly while I was still adjusting to the fashion disaster.

"Thank you so much. It should be fun living with you again man. Back to college days ah? "

"Ha ha yeah. Should be fun" Jay said whilst giving my dad a man hug.

"Hi Massie I'm Gloria ,I'm so sorry for your loss, and if you need anything while your hear ,don't hesitate to ask, this is our daughter Claire." Gloria said kindly pointing i Claire direction

Claire waved this really lame wave.

"Thanks and hi ...Claire" I said trying not to stare at her for too long. Who knows, I might get used to it after a while. And no on wants that.

"Claire ,why don't you go and show Massie her room now " Gloria said exactly what I wanted to hear.

"Sure mum ,follow me Massie" Claire said grabbing for my hand.

I quickly moved away and nodded in motion to say I'll follow ,but NO TOUCHY.

As I followed Claire up the stairs into the room I knew I would automatically hate it. I missed my room already and it hasn't even been 3 hours yet.

As I walked into the room I saw 2 beds.

"2 beds? isn't this my room" I said coldly

"It is your room, but its also mine. We have to share I hope you don't mind, I moved all my stuff over to my side so that you can have room for your stuff."

"Oh...I don't mind....not one bit " I lied obviously

"This is going to be so cool. My parents have told me so much about you"

"Oh" I said looking at some photos in the corner.

"Okay, well I might let you have some time to yourself to pack so , I'll call you when dinner is ready " she said trying to be nice.

"Sure ,whatever" I said ignoring her nice gesture.

As she walked out of the room I walked slowly over to the window to see the view. It wasn't much. Just normal buildings all lined up in a straight and symmetrical row. Pretty boring neighbourhood if you ask me.

This whole neighbourhood was weird. So far there was no one that looked even merely similar to me. Florida was going to be a whole new world, and I don't think I was ready for change. I hadn't even started mourning over the death of my mother yet. Or had I ? If you don't cry are you not sad. If so ,then I'm not sad about my mothers death. I turned my direction towards the sky and slowly moved my hand toward my mothers neckless. I want to cry. For her. But its as if my tears were hidden. As if i had hidden tears.

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**Hi guys...me again...i just want to say that I don't own anything to do with CLIQUE....I only own my plot.**

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Things are going to start heating up so stay tuned. And PLEASE review and thanks for the current reviews.**

**Anywayzz enojoy**

** xoxox Sera**


	4. Chapter 4

**First day of school**

"Nooooooooo. Oh my god. Your not seriously considering wearing that ,are you ?

I said starring at Claire in disbelief.

The outfit she thought was appropriate for school ,consisted of green cargo pants and a purple marsh mellow jacket. Was she serious?

"What's wrong with this out fit, I wore it to school just last week" she said arguing her point. But not making her case.

"Oh and you think that makes the outfit any better. Seriously I would rather my dad die , than see you have to wear that outfit to school. Just shocking" I said holding bean tightly

There was an awkward silence. They had been occurring more frequently ,the longer we stayed here.

"Massie " Claire said in disbelief.

"RELAX CLAIRE I'm joking" I said annoyed at her reaction. Even though she was right

"I don't think you should joke about things like that " she said

I understood what she was saying .She was right I should not have said what I said. But it slipped out. Cant take back what's already been said.

After getting to know Claire over the weekend I realised I hated her. She was so different to my friends. She didn't know upper east side language and she dressed worse than a blind old man .But the worst thing that I hated about her was that , she expected us to be best friends .Straight of the bat.

No that's never going to happen, Because Claire is so out of my vocabulary. So out of my life .Well until i find a new room to sleep in

"See this is the type of out fit you should be wearing. You need to learn how to shop" I said showing her my black mini skirt , Swede blue jacket and my new YSL pumps.

"This is how any girl should dress, especially you" I said coldly staring in her direction

"You know what Massie, I'm sick and tired of you judging me because of what I wear. Just because I don't know what Prada means or what FYI means ,doesn't mean I don't know everything in the whole entire world. The world doesn't revolve around Goochie and designer handbags. I'm me and you cant change me" she said very quickly and hesitantly.

"Wow CLAIRE , that's the most I've heard you talk since iv been here. Seriously you should take a breather. I don't want to be a witness to your death. Those cases can get messy ,not that my lawyer cant handle it ,but you know what I mean!" I said putting some nude coloured lipstick on.

"Can you STOP TALKING ABOUT DEATH your mother just died " She screamed,

Silence filled the room once again.

She said it so loudly I could of sworn I felt the whole room shake.

"I'm sorry Massie ,I shouldn't have said that" She said apologetically

"No your right. I should stop talking about death especially since my mother just died and I've moved to this totally ugly house THAT I HATE !I should stop talking about death ,but what if death doesn't upset me .What if I'm not effected by my mothers death. WHAT if i haven't even cried. Does that mean I don't care that she's dead? Obviously if you don't cry when someone dies your not upset Right? "I yelled

"Massie I don't know. I'm sorry" She said looking down

"DONT BE, you shouldn't be sorry you didn't do anything. Did you kill her ,is that why your saying sorry. DID YOU KILL HER ? .No one can take back what happened so DON'T just DON'T say your sorry. I'm sick of people being sorry all the time, YOU DID'NT DO IT so stop"

I starred at Claire and I could see tears rushing down her pale face.

"Why are you crying? ,I haven't even cried and my mothers DEAD." I yelled then ran out of the room.

* * *

**Lunch time at school**

After this mornings argument with Claire I felt a little lighter. I felt like I had some weight lifted of my shoulders, even though I hurt someone in the process. I honestly felt bad about the things I had said and I knew I needed to apologise. But in the mean time I was just trying to survive school. This new school was horrible .The kids were horrible and the food was horrible.

The kids looked at me like I was some rich spoilt Brat. The rich part was true , but Brat? I don't think so. I am not a Brat!

I searched the cafeteria looking for a spare table. With kids running around everywhere it was hard to tell where to sit. Standing there in the middle ,with a tray in my arms , it was as if I was the new, weird girl in a movie. If I was at my old school I would have been seated down right now eating with my girlfriends.

But I was here now and I couldn't do anything about it. Especially since my dad looked like he was getting better.

"Do you want to sit with me"Claire showed up beside me.

"Oh my god you scared me Claire."I said truthfully shocked.

"Look .I'm sorry about this morning ,obviously you were a bit upset and I ,made it worse." Claire said

"No I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. You obviously have some fashion no no's and I should have just minded my own business." I said starring at her tray. All I could see was carbs

"What ? Your apologising about that. Massie I'm apologising for your loss. Your obviously mourning over it and I didn't help any further than I should have, by saying what I said.

"What do you mean mourning ? I'm not mourning I haven't even cried, and what did I say about saying sorry." I said sitting down at the nearest table.

Claire followed

"Massie crying is not the only form of mourning. I know this doesn't compare to your loss but when my dog died I didn't even cry and I had him for 6 years. In stead of crying I just didn't talk" She said trying to make me feel better

"Your right your loss does not compare." I laughed

"Yeah ,i know "she laughed with me.

"You must be really hungry" I said while watching her unwrap her chicken burger.

" Kinda, but its really yummy .So umm me and a couple of friends are meeting up after school. I would love to introduce you to them, since where starting fresh and all ! You want to come ?

where did starting "fresh" come from.

"Sure , I guess" I replied ,wondering what I was getting myself into.

* * *

**2 hours later**

I was glad the first day of school was finally over. Now I was getting ready to meet up with some of Claire's friends. Besides her fashion sense, Claire was kinda nice, when she wasn't wearing a totally deficient outfit. But then again she was just like everyone else here. She obviously got it from them.

"Hey you ready to go." Claire said walking into the room with a smile on her face.

"Where leaving in 5...HOLY HELL" Claire stopped in the middle of her sentence. Starring at my outfit in total shock.

"What ,what's wrong ?"I asked stunned

"Umm Massie where going to get a pizza , not going to the VMA'S. You need to dress more casual"

"What's wrong with this outfit? Its a skirt and heels ,to me this is casual"I defended my outfit and Mark Jacob's.

" Massie how do you expect to make any friends when you dress like a doll all the time ? You dress like your from the upper east side. No one dresses like that down here. If you tried to dress a little different, mayby people wouldn't be so intimidated and maybe they would approach you." Claire said

"But I am from the upper east side. And I don't care . I don't plan on making friends down here."I said not caring

"Okay you can dress how you like. But not tonight. You can't wear that."

Claire directed me towards her wardrobe which consisted of few essentials. Jumper ,Jacket ,Jeans and a few tops. To me this was a total nightmare

"So firstly a black mini skirt and heals are way to dressy for pizza. A white blouse is sure to be ruined my tomato and cheese topping and HOW much jewellery do you have to wear ?. HAHA oh my god this is hilarious" She said laughing so hard I though she was going to explode.

"I don't see anything wrong with this outfit" ,I defended myself while laughing with her.

"Here put this on. Jeans and a shirt , classic and simple , don't forget comfy. "She said handing it over.

"OH MY GOD times 6, my friends would kill me if they saw me in this."I said cringing at the outfit

"Trust me its comfy, you'll love it .And its not like your friends are going to see "she said pushing me into the bathroom so I could go and change.

After I put on the outfit, I checked my self out in the mirror.

"WOW hahaha oh my god times 3 .I look like you. Your right it is comfy though."I said staring at the jeans

"So ,what did I tell you"Claire said while letting her hair out of her pony tail.

"Thanks. Claire .Really I mean it."I said smiling

"There just jeans Massie" she laughed

"No ,not for that, for everything"I said embarrassed

"What are friends for "she grabbed my arm and we were off.

Friends....if you said it a couple of times. It sounded okay.

When we got to the pizza parlour I met all of Claire's close friends. They were so nice. Like friends out of a movie. They didn't care about looks or what you wore. They cared about you as a person. They immediately liked me ,which was good. Considering I hadn't made any new friends yet.

When we got home I went to check my email and I was Immediately excited to see an email from Dylan

* * *

**Email from Dylan**

Hello stranger. Miss you so much it hurts. School is lame without you and Oh My God times 10 Chris asked about you, saying how sorry he is for your loss. Anywayzz how is it there? ,are they nice or are they snobby ? Anyone there that knows the meaning of Goochie. If not , I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU :(

Now I know you probably don't want to know this but I HAVE to tell you. Because your my best friend and I cant lie. I think Alicia is hanging out with Chris ABIT too much. She meets up with him for hot chocolate like every night and I could of sworn I saw in her diary the words C +L= 4eva. I'm really sorry Massie.

Any ways I got's to go

Later Chika xoxox

p.s Alicia doesn't know that I told you so lets keep it quiet.

* * *

OH MY GOD TIMES A MILLION. ALEISHA IS DATING CHRIS

* * *

**Hey guys me again...gonna be uploading more chapters everyday now, because EXAMS are ova. So I have plenty of time.**

**Really hope you enjoy this chapter , you get to see Massie's dark side and her alternate side. So have fun and please REVIEW...I LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE THINKING.**

**Enjoy :)**

**xoxox Sera**


	5. Chapter 5

**Night of Massie's nightmare !

* * *

**

I sat in my room crying for hours. How could my best friends do this to me. She knew that I loved Chris and that when I got back WE were going to be together. I cant believe this. She was meant to be one of my best friends. I stared at the ceiling in angst.

How could a white ceiling be so fascinating. I think it made me cry harder. Just staring at nothing. Staring at a blank canvas. Nothing was making me cry. Yet something was.

I turned when I heard a knock on the door.

"Massie are you okay" Claire kindly asked.

"No, I'll never be okay. And why are you knocking its your room" I said annoyed at her for being so polite. I hated her for always being polite.

"Don't worry about it. Obviously she isn't a really good friend if she would do something like that. And its your room to. And I understand that people need privacy." she said putting a bowl chicken soup on my bed side table

"Oh my god I have a head ache from crying so much"I said putting my hand on my forehead.

"Hear have this it should make you feel better " Claire said getting the bowl and putting it on my lap.

"Thanks. So tell me, how can I cry so much when my best friend betrays me ,but when my mother dies I cant even produce one drip." I asked curiously while blowing on the soup

"Sometimes people take longer to adjust to certain situations" She said whilst sitting on my bed next to me.

"How long does it take" I said staring at her in frustration.

"Massie you cant put a number on when your going to start crying over your mothers death. It doesn't work like that. You'll cry when it hits you." She said

"But it has hit me. She's gone, I know. Yeah I'm sad ,and I miss her. And I know. URGHHH . Am I made of stone" I screamed

"Your not made of stone Massie. Your crying right now aren't you,and you cry about everything else. Maybe this is showing you something. That you cry when somethings only small. Like alicia and Chris. And you don't cry when its something really big like with your mum."Claire explained her theory

"Maybe your right" I said yawning " I'm gonna go and get ready for bed."I said putting the soup down.

"Your not going to eat " She said looking in my direction

She was so sweet, so caring, so attentive. The total opposite of me.

"No, I don't think I'm in the mood for chicken soup. I could go for pizza though "I said jokingly

"OH MY GOD Massie carbs," She said sarcastically ,using my Malibu tone I know she hates. "Go to bed Massie, good night" Claire said heading towards the door

"And Claire , Thanks for letting me borrow your clothes. Super comfy" I said getting up of the bed to get changed.

"Totally....And Massie,I know you have friends back at your home and I know that you miss them .But I just want you to know. That you have friends here to now. And I'll never hurt you." she said sweetly.

I smiled. Me and Claire were really friends now. I liked it. In a weird possible way.

**3 weeks later , Morning

* * *

**

Being in Florida has taught me 3 things.

**1**. Fashion is not the most vital thing in the world. And I think you could tell I was a firm believer in that, considering how big my transformation was in clothing. I'm not kidding ,its jeans everyday now.

**2**. Claire was actually nice. We were like best friends now .We hung out all the time and her friends had also now become mine.

**3.** Being stuck up and snobby was bad. And I really was in fact a BRAT.

My dad was looking better to. Yeah he had his off days ,but they were occurring less and less the more time we spent here. Gloria, Jay, Claire and Todd, were the nicest people on this earth (Even though Todd could be annoying). They felt like my family in a way. We looked out for each other. And it felt nice. We had only been in the lions house for close to a month and already it felt like home.

Sometimes I would be having so much fun I would forget about my mum and just relax. But when I remembered her, it wasn't like I would start crying or anything. I never cried for her. Not one tear. I cried for other things like Alicia and Chris and when I forgot my money at home and couldn't buy my lunch (Claire shared though). I cried when I failed a math exam even though I hated math and I knew I would fail .But I never cried for my mum. Hidden tears.

"OH MY GOD" I screamed , starring at my laptop screen in bewilderment.

"What's wrong Mass" My dad asked looking up from his newspaper

"Alicia , Kristen and Dylan are coming up for a visit. There coming tomorrow" I said freaked out.

I hated alicia right now. I didn't want to see her.

"What's wrong. I heard your OH MY GOD and ran" Claire said almost out of breath.

"Look at this email Dylan just sent me" I said turning the screen towards her

**Email

* * *

**

Hey mass your not going to believe it. My mum is going to Florida for work and she said Alicia and Kristen could come to. So I guess we should be seeing you soon. The plane leaves tonight. I'l call you when we land.

Later Chika XOXOX

"Wow you should be happy, your friends are coming " Claire said forgetting why I would be upset

"Arhh NO ,Claire you know what Alicia did to me and I don't want them to come. There going to hate the new me" I said falling on to the sofa with my face down.

"What new you, your still the same as before Massie ,you just dress differently and hang out with different types of people. Its no big deal " Claire said trying to reassure me.

It didn't work.

"OH MY GOD TIMES 7 Claire" I said getting up and grabbing her by the shoulders, "You don't understand. There gonna hate the fact that I dress differently, talk differently , hang out with people that don't know what Goochie means and OH MY GOD my life is over. I'm gonna cry "I said tearing up

"ARE YOU SERIOUS Massie don't cry, you just finished crying about loosing your watch. You need to stop crying. Your going to get wrinkles and we both know you don't want that. And listen to me " Claire grabbed my arms as I sobbed in her hair "You dress differently but its still nice , you don't talk differently and I know because you even have me saying OH MY GOD in that Malibu Barbie tone of yours and yeah we don't know what Goochie means but I'm sure they don't know what Billabong means ha?" Claire said raising her recently plucked eyebrows

"Should I leave you girls"I heard my dad say nervously

"Yeah ,I think she's just having another attack. I'll take care of her" She said slowly sitting me down. While my dad left the room

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I cry ALL the time. I'm like a tap that just keeps running."I said letting out some more tears "If there was a bill for how much water came out of my eyes. I would be so poor"

"Its going to be okay"Claire said reassuring me

"I sure hope so"I said as I hugged Claire tighter.

**Morning after

* * *

**

"Okay I just got the message. She should be here soon."I told Claire anxiously

"Don't worry okay, its going to be fine. You look great" she said staring at my outfit with an approving smile.

I examined my out fit in the wide mirror. Denim blue shorts with white converse shoes. A blue tank top and white sweater. They would so NOT approve. This outfit would be like a tornado to them. A tornado that blinded millions of my .. I mean my posse's fans.

"I feel great but, you don't know my friends they are like brand names everything. What's the bet the first thing there going to say is "OH MY GOD" (in that Malibu tone you hate) . "What happened ?, who did this to you ?" Then there going to look at you and quietly point. You will automatically pretend not to Notice but you will be offended.I can guarentee you. Then they'll give me a hug each. While Dylan hugs me, she'll lean in to my ears and say "Massie ,denim is so last week, and converse, really Mass ?" And then I'll go red and go upstairs to change." I said in only a couple of breaths.

"Wow these girls really run your life then huh?" she said looking stunned

"No its not like that" I said rolling my eyes

"Sure seems like it" She said nodding

"Massie, your friends are here" My dad screamed from downstairs.

"Oh my god I think I'm going to cry" I said trying to inhale and exhale safely.

"No please don't...please just calm down . Relax...I'll be right next to you" Claire said not trying to show that she was nervous too.

"Okay, its show time" I said taking a last breath

I walked down the stairs starring at my shoes . At least they were a brand over the price of $50.

"Oh my god Massie what happened?" Dylan shrieked walking towards me.

"Nothing happened , this is Claire " I said trying to quickly but surely change the subject.

"Oh okay" Dylan said starring at Claire the way she starred at me.

Claire looked offended by the glare , just like I knew she would be. But she pretended she wasn't. Also just what I predicted

"Hi. Its so nice to finally meet you guys,Massie has told me so much about you all" Claire said in an attempt to rid the awkward silence.

"Of course she has. Where her girls. Well obviously we need to catch up Massie,where going to this really nice Restraunt in the city. My Mums going to drop us of then we are officially free to Rome the city on our own. That means"

"SHOPPING" Kristen and alicia said in unison. Dylan totally ignored Claire politeness

"Oh well ,me and Claire thought we could just go to the local pizzeria for lunch. You guys can meet my new friends and everything.

"Pizza equals carbs Massie. You know that more than anyone" Alicia said staring at me with her mouth wide open.

I stared at Alicia,the girl that betrayed me,but didn't even show an apologetic emotion while standing right there, insulting my new favourite food.

"None of us need to worry about what we eat. Pizza is good ,and yummy "Claire said obviously trying to defend her favourite place. I was proud of her. I didn't think she would last this long.

"I think some of us, do need to worry about it actually" Kristen said directing it at Claire.

Claire looked hurt and I could tell she was about to cry. She was really sensitive and I felt bad for her. I knew she wouldn't be able to cope with my friends

"Don't worry , Claire can go on her own to see HER friends. We don't have room for her in the car anyway. Plus we've been waiting to eat at this new Restraunt all morning. Its like better than organic food. So get changed and lets go " Dylan said almost in a demanding tone.

Seeing Kristen, Dylan and Alicia for the first time in a month amazed me. They looked like Barbies compared to me. With their Chloe handbags and Mark Jacob heels .I felt like an indigent person. It was as if I was seeing them through different eyes. Like how I saw everything through different eyes these days.

"My mums waiting are you coming ?" Dylan said in that angry tone again.

This was a decision I was going to have to think about.

* * *

**I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter......and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW......I really like knowing what people are thinking. The next chapters are going to be coing very soon, so stay tuned and PLEASE REVIEW !**

**Enjoy xoxoxoxoxox**


	6. Chapter 6

**Claire's POV

* * *

**

I cant believe she just left. Right there .She grabbed her purse and left.

"Claire are you okay ? ," Massie's dad said quietly

"Yeah .Yeah I'm fine. I just thought we were going to go out for pizza today" I said clearly hurt.

"Why don't we go out for pizza" Massie's dad said kindly offering. Even though I knew he wouldn't want to go to a "Hormonal filled hangout place".

"Its fine, you don't have to do that, I'll just go and meet my friends anyway" I said turning him down. Even though I knew he would of thanked me if he knew.

I walked back to my room and grabbed my jacket. It wasn't Dolci and Gabbana but it was comfy and warm. And I liked it more than anything in the whole world !

**Massie POV

* * *

**

I cant believe I did that to Claire. But I had to .My friends would have killed me if I didn't. And in a way I really wanted to go with them. They looked so perfect standing there right in front of my doorway. Them like barbi's. Me like a weirdo. With Kristen's blonde curls and Alicia's great fashion sense. Even though Alicia had betrayed me , I still felt like I was apart of them, like they were apart of me.

As we sat down on the mahogany coloured chairs, I took of my cardigan.

"Don't take that jacket of Massie, you can see your top, What brand is it, cheap cheap" Dylan said laughing. Kristen and Alicia followed. Turns out since I had left Dylan was the new Queen. I knew this because normally the girls would laugh when I made a joke. Now they weren't laughing with me , they were laughing at me.

"Didn't Dylan tell you to go upstairs and get changed" Kristen said putting her iphone in her purse.

"Its comfy"I said defending myself and in a way Claire.

"Comfy is not cute Massie ,you taught me that,you've changed so much this last month. Seriously its scary" Alicia said

"You've changed to Alicia, how's Chris by the way?" I said hoping we could get this conversation over and done with.

"Where just friends Massie and why do you care anyway, you don't even live there anymore"She said rolling her eyes

"What ? SO it is true." I said standing up hovering over the three of them.

"Wow, she's turned violent to. Massie do we have to do this right now, we have other important things to talk about, like this Claire girl" Kristen said looking at the menu, not even acknowledging how upset I was.

"Claire is my friend , she's been there for me through everything. Though out my ups and downs. She helps me cope with my Mum being gone." I said grabbing my cardigan and getting my things ready to go. This was a mistake. I not only made the wrong decision but I betrayed Claire.

"Relax Massie, we wanted to see you , but we've been so busy " Dylan said standing up,grabbing my hand in an attempt to make me stay.

I let go. I was about to walk out when I realised my neckless was gone.

"Oh my god , where's my neckless? I was wearing it then , and now its gone." I said grabbing hold of my neck checking repeatedly to see if I was mistaken.

"Relax Massie its just a neckless" Kristen said almost laughing

"Was it a diamond because if so , you can just get another one" Dylan said rolling her eyes.

I ignored what she said and continued searching.

I searched the area I was sitting at. Dylan sat back down.

I rummaged through my purse, but it wasn't there. I probably looked crazy ,frantically searching though my pockets.

They all looked at me like I was this crazy maniac.

"Are you guys coming"I said grabbing my purse

"Its not a big deal Massie its just a neckless." Dylan said while eating her chicken Sandwich. With a fork.

"It was my MOTHERS neckless....I have to find it guys"

They all sat silently staring at each other.

I couldn't believe it. They just sat there, not even attempting to try and help me look.

"Relax Massie we'll eat, then look for it" Kristen said as the waiter put her salad on her plate

"Well I'm not waiting" I yelled and ran off.

**Claire's POV

* * *

**

When I got back from the pizzeria I sat on the porch waiting for Massie. We were best friends and we had to talk about this. It was 2:30 p.m so she should be coming soon. As I sat on the cushy chair I caught a glare in the corner of my eyes. I looked over next to the berry bush and saw a neckless. I walked to it and I realised it was Massie's. I picked up the beautiful piece of jewellery and put it in my pocket. Massie would probably be stressing if she knew she lost it . She would freak out . She never took it of.

"Hey Claire, is Massie back yet?" My mum asked curiously

"No mum, she should be back soon though. I might call her " I said staring at the road hoping she would be here soon.

I hoped she would be back soon.

**3 Hours later

* * *

**

Voicemail struck 3 times and still no Massie. It was getting dark and I started to get worried. I was just about to go inside and tell my Mum ,Until I heard footsteps plodding against the gravel road.

"Massie , is that you ?" I asked hoping it was.

It was , and she looked a mess. She was alone.

"What happened? Are you okay? "I asked walking over towards her.

She had mascara tears running down her cheeks and her cardigan was wrapped around her waist.

"Oh my god what happened? "I said hoping for a response this time.

"I walked all the way from the city to here. That's what happened. I looked everywhere for a bus , but when one came I couldn't push myself to go on it .I didn't have my hand Sanitizer and you know how I get with germs. And all of this was because I lost my mothers neckless and I wanted to go home and look for it but the girls wanted to eat , so I ditched them and then I had to walk all the way home by my self . Then I started crying because I got upset. Because I lost my mums neckless and if she knew she would hate me. And I just wish she was here so I could tell her that I miss her and that I hate Dylan, Alicia and Kristen and the way they dress. I hate my D and C jacket because its so tight I feel like I'm wearing a really tight broach around my whole body and that I hate my life ever since she left. And that I'm tired because I walked all the way from the city." Massie said so fast I though she was going to explode.

I stared at Massie and realised something. She was crying for her mum. Right there in front of my eyes and she still didn't even realise. She had started her mourning session and she was totally oblivious to the fact. She was officially having the breakdown that she was waiting for. Sound cliché. Don't worry I know. She bottled everything up and just emptied it out all in matter of a minute. Or on her trip down from the city.

"Massie I don't know if you no this but , your crying for your mum" I said hoping it would make her happy.

"What ,No I'm not ,I'm crying for leaving you and loosing the neckless and about Dylan and the girls. I'm crying for all of that , not my mum "She said sitting down on the porch with her hands pressed against her forehead.

"Massie ,you said yourself that you never used to cry over petty things like failing a test or loosing a handbag right ?"

"Yeah" Massie said slowly looking up form behind her arms.

"Well I think that, ever since your mum died you've become prone to sadness. Or sadness to do with your Mum. I guess that's the only way I can explain it. Maybe now when ever something small happens you start to cry because even small things can effect you. Ever since the accident you cry about everything because it makes up for you not crying about your mum"

"What ? I don't get it?" she said with whilst raising her eyebrows.

"It all makes sense now. I guess what I'm trying to say is. You cry about anything and everything and its because ,in a way all those small things remind you of your mother. So you may think your not crying for your mum , but I think you really are" I said almost getting a headache from trying to choose the right words.

"When did you figure that out"

"I really don't know, I think about two seconds ago"I laughed

Massie laughed too.

"Well it helped that you said , in the list of the things you HATE ,That you miss your mum " We laughed again in unison.

We sat on the porch alone while the sun slowly went down.

"Oh and I found something" I said while getting the neckless from my pocket.

"OH MY GOD" Massie screamed

"Oh please not that OH MY GOD THING AGAIN" I laughed

"You found it" She said taking it out of my hands

"Yeah you must have dropped it. I found it near the bush"I said smiling

"Thank you so much"

"Its no problem"

"Claire I'm sorry, about leaving you when I really needed you, I don't know. Just seeing my friends there again made me want to be with them again .I created those girls. They were exactly like me. I was like them..I never knew we could be so mean. Until , I was on the other side" Massie said pouring her heart out,while putting the neckless back on.

"Yeah on my side"I laughed

"I prefer your side" she said laughing with me.

We sat there for hours talking about her mum and what she loved doing. We were really connecting. Me and Massie were really great friends .And I loved it. We were totally different but totally the same . She was my peanut butter and I was her jelly. Together we made the nicest peanut butter and jelly sandwich ever.

"Hey, you know how you've started your mourning process?"

"Or I've been mourning this whole time"she said laughing

"Well , yes but. Maybe there's something you could do ,to help cleanse your mind. And your soul"I said using my councillor words

"Wow, who made who a psychologist?"Massie said laughing

"Just come with me" I said grabbing Massie's arm and running inside.

* * *

**Hey guys ,normally I wait a couple of days before I upload the next chapter but with this one I wanted to get it out....what did you think ?...let me no. Theres only 2 more chapters left and I havnt even started writing the last one, so your not the only ones that have no idea how this is going to end.**

**Enjoy and pls pls pls review**

**xoxox Sera**


	7. Chapter 7

**Massie's POV

* * *

**

I sat staring at the computer screen. It was perfect. The web page was on the entry form for world hunger domination. My mum would have been so happy.

"She always wanted to be apart of this, she just never had the time. It was her dream" I said staring at the wide screen.

"Well now's your chance to for fill, one of her dreams. " She said.

"Your right. I'm going to do it." I said smiling at her.

I clicked on the printer icon. The printer started revving up and my heart immediately skipped a bit.

"Its ready "Claire said holding the sheet.

"Oh my god. I think I'm going to cry" I said as she handed me the form , still hot from the printer.

"Please don't, you have not stopped all day "Claire laughed patting me on the back.

"I think I have a problem" I said laughing with her.

"Well you are nervouse , for a piece of paper coming out of a printer so , I think you do to " She said lauging some more.

* * *

**8:30pm**

As I sat on my bed. Starring at the piece of paper, I realised I really had changed. Not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. I wasn't this snobby Brat that everyone hated but wanted to be. I was me , Massie Block ,but different. And not different because I wore jeans everyday, but different because I actually cared about other things. Like people's feeling rather than there outfit choices.

Claire had taught me so much, while living here.

Because she cared ! I cared !. She was now like a sister to me.

I rolled over to one side of the bed , just as a tear streamed down my face.

I always thought I was lucky. I thought I had everything . A beautiful house, the cutest dog ever and clothes to die for. Everything every girl would die for.

But really what I thought was great, was actually pretty pathetic. I though clothes were my life. I loved them because they made me uncomfortable and I though if your not comfortable, you look great. But really, I was so wrong.

This was just a minor example of my whole life.

And now I lost the one thing i didn't realised I needed the most.

My mother.

Now I held in my hands the one thing my mother would have wanted the most. And because of that, it was now the most important thing to me.

I closed my eyes and thought of her. Her dark chocolate coloured hair and green eyes that glistened when ever she was happy . Which was every time I wasn't annoying her.

When ever I closed my eyes . It was as if she was still there. Right in front of me. Doing what she used to do.

The memories of her that I'll never forget.

I heard the door opening and opened my eyes slowly.

Claire walked in with the phone in her hand.

"Hey, you okay "She said sitting beside me.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking" I said steadily getting up.

"Well, I have a cool idea."She said turning towards me.

"Yeah, fill me in on this fresh idea."I said smiling.

"Well , your Aunt and Uncle are part of the group right?"

"yeah"

"Well ,I think you should call her. Because they don't really accept teenagers, they prefer older age groups, yeah they would put you on the list but , it would be a while before you could do anything. Your aunt could get you in straight away" She said handing me the phone.

"Oh my god yeah. I didn't even think of that" I said taking the phone from her.

"Well I'll leave you to it "She said walking out of the room.

As I dialled in my aunts number I started to immediatley get nervous. Aunt Sheryl sounded exactly like my mother. Soft but strapping voice that just drew in your full and undivided deliberation.

As I hit the call button I took in a breath.

Someone picked up on the second ring.

"Hello" Sheryl said in the voice I knew she would. She sounded like my mother. It felt good to hear a similar voice.

"Umm Aunt Sheryl. Its Massie" I said standing up and walking around the room like when I did when I was nervous.

"Oh my god Massie, its so good to hear your voice. Sweetie how have you been ?"

"I've been good. Really good actually. Florida's been great. I've made heaps of new friends and I love it here"

"That sound so nice. How's your father been, is he better " She said in that wandering tone.

"Yeah he's fine. Where both really good, Aunt Sheryl there's something I wanted to ask you "I said picking up the application.

"Sure what's up sweetie"

"Well, I've been thinking really hard. And I think I want to join the world hunger domination team. Mum always wanted to do it so I thought why not give it a try. I printed out an application. But I just though I'd ask you, since you know all about it."I said nervously.

I don't know why I was so nervous talking to aunt Sheryl. I always used to talk to her like normal.

"Oh hunny that's a great idea. I'll talk to the committee, but I'm sure they would love to have you aboard. Your mum would have been so proud. She always wanted to join in " She said with a shaky voice. I knew she was going to start crying. Her and mum were so close.

"Yeah I know" I said as I turned and saw my dad walk through the door.

"Who's that on the phone ? " He said closing the door slowly.

"Its aunt Sheryl"

"Oh ,that's great ,put her on speaker"

"Aunt Sheryl my dads here, your on speaker okay" I said pressing the speaker button.

"Its been to long" My dad said sitting on my bed smiling. He looked really happy , and in a way relieved.

"Way too long. Months to long "Aunt Sheryl said.

I walked towards the window smiling. Things were working out now. She was going to help me become a member of the organisation. This was good.

I stared at my father sitting there on my bed with a smile wiped across his face.

He looked so happy for once. Genuinely happiness. Not fake. Real.

I held on to my neckless tightly. It was going to be okay.

**1 week later

* * *

**

I woke up to find Claire already up and out of bed.

I got up and walked out the door, dragging behind me my oversized blue pyjamas. I heard noises downstairs. And once again I was scared. This is what happened last time. I woke up ,heard noises at the stairs and then freaked out. Not again.

I didn't need to be scared now, nothing was wrong. I just needed to calm down.

As I walked down the stairs gripping onto the railing I saw Claire and her mom sitting next to each other along with my father ,Todd and Jay. At least there were no police officers there.

I walked down the stairs and as I got closer to the end , my father looked up a me , and the lions soon followed.

"Good morning Massie" My father said standing up.

"What's going on" I said walking towards him.

"Sit down darling" Gloria said making space for me.

I sat down still staring at my dad. I pushed my brown curls behind me ears and put my sweaty palms on my lap , totally oblivious to the fact of what was about to happen.

* * *

**10 minutes later**

"So where just going to leave ? " I said saddened by the news I was being told.

"Well we've been here for almost 6 months now, I think its time we get our life back on track. Maybe move back home, sort our selves out, you can go back to your school, I can go back to my old job " He said using his hands to further persuade his argument.

I sat there still for a moment ,trying to grasp the concept of moving back home. Leaving Claire and the Lions. Moving back to my old school to face the music. Seeing Dylan and the girls again. It was to much to take in. Was I ready to go. How do you know when your ready to move on.

"Massie are you okay ? " Claire said quietly breaking the awkward silence.

"I'm fine, its just I thought everything was going good here. Dad you finally started smiling again, I changed to. What happens if we go back and we slowly but surely go back to the way we were before. What if , Dad you go back to not talking, and me what if I turn into a total snob again . I don't want that " I said so fast I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack.

"Massie, that's not going to happen,we have family there. When I talked to Aunt Sheryl she told me things that we could do to get our lives back. I think this is a great idea. We cant live here forever." My dad said squatting down next to me.

"What if its not okay" I said slowly.

"That's not an option ,together we can make it work "My dad said holding my hands tightly, as if he was just as scared as I was.

"Okay" I said getting up and hugging him.

This was it, it was time to go home and face the music. Was I ready ? Would I ever know? All I did know was that I was soon going to find out.

* * *

**Hey guys, this was just a short chapter for your reading pleasure. Hidden tears is now starting to come to an end , so stay tuned for the next chapter and last chapter PLEASE review...I love knowing what you guys are thinking, or what your not thinking.**

**And im sorry to those people who get annoyed with my writting teqnique. And the way Massie's charactor is shown through my massie is different in my version. She has her insecurities and thats the way she is again I apoligize to anyone , that finds it distracting or annoying. If there is anything else let me know.**

**xoxox enjoy**

** Sera**


	8. Chapter 8

**3 Months later Saturday morning**

I awoke to the sound of tweeting birds , and the sun hitting my face. I muddled around my clean white sheets until I found my Iphone. As always I had a message from Claire.

Ever since I left the lions house , me and Claire would text each other every morning when we woke up and every night when we went to bed. Our own little way of staying connected and telling each other what's been happening in our lives.

Things were going really good. It was hard from time to time just being me and my dad , especially going back to school and having Christmas just the two of us. But in the end we coped.

Things with Alicia , Dylan and Kristen didn't turn out so well , for them of course. When I went back to school. I sat alone for a while. The girls would tell me to sit with them. But I knew that if I was around them I would soon turn into them. And I didn't want that. It was kind of hard to resist the temptation to go and sit with them. They looked so perfect , and so appealing that it hurt.

Talking about friends , it took me a while to make some more of my own that weren't totally superficial and un-supportive. It took me at least a month , also because people still found me intimidating I guess. I was this scary Massie , that no one wanted to know because I could ruin their reputation with a single text. I was the mean girl in school , and now I was a nobody. But that was okay. Because I had new things to do and try in my life.

Like for example at lunch times I would go and help make posters to promote World Hunger Domination. Did I mention my Aunt got me in. Now my Monday's and Thursdays consist of meetings and working at soup kitchens , rather than late night shopping spree's and girly sleep overs.

I dedicated my time , to helping something that I truly believed in. I even gave away my Dolci and Gabbana jacket to this little girl. She totally loved it. And looked like she would cherish it more than I ever did or would. And the funny part is , she doesn't even know its worth like $450. But that makes the jacket even more special. Not knowing the value , but still cherishing it.

Over all , there was a huge change with not only my dads life , but mine.

Not only did my dad find a new job , a job he loved , but I made some friends that " Before" I would have never had talked to.

They taught me the meaning of value and and they taught me things that were beyond price. I really listened.

They taught me ,that how much you put in , is what you get out.

But overall they taught me , to just be me.

Massie Block , with out the craziness. And the Dolci and Gabbana jackets.

* * *

**Text from Claire**

Hey Mb , What's up ? I'm gonna go hang with the crew today , what about you. And I'm thinking we need an annual sleep over. New tradition ? What do you say? Any ways gonna go get ready. ttfn (ta ta for now) new shortened word...what do you think ?

* * *

Annual sleep over ? That could work.

I got out of bed and ran to my dads room. Smiling.

"How does annual sleep over sound "I screamed jumping onto his bed.

"Ohh god help me , New Massie and Claire tradition" He said getting up.

"New Massie and Claire tradition !" I said nodding over excitedly.

"Your in a good mood thins morning " He said wiping his eyes "Good enough to make me breakfast?"

"Ahh , No." I laughed " So Saturday , sunny , no showers or wind , I'm thinking. Sundaes by the pool and a barbecue for lunch" I said getting of his bed.

"Okay , can you at least make the barbecue" He said getting up also.

"Ahhhhh no. Once again. I don't make the food I eat it "We both laughed

Things were way different between my dad and i now. We had fun. We talked. And I never had this relationship with him before.

We were starting new.

I guess when we both lost the one thing we both had ,it made us not want to loose each ther.

I got up and went to fix my bed. As I blew the sheets straight out flat onto my bed , I looked over at my desk and saw my favourite photo of my mother and myself.

Gosh, was she beautiful !

I walked over to the small frame and held it in between my hands. I missed her so much.

A tear streamed down my face and I closed my eyes.

Until I felt the warmth of my dads arms around my shoulders.

"I miss her too" He said

"Good , so I'm not the only one" I said shedding a few more tears.

We both giggled quietly.

Those minutes lasted forever , Just standing there remembering moments in our pasts , that were significant.

Even though my mother was gone , I felt like my life was really starting and it all happened because of her. With my new mind set to life , things were going my way. Yeah I had my bad days , but at least I had my good days to. And I now realise ,I wanted to cry so hard for my mother , when really I cried for her all the time , just using other little things as excuses.

At least now I know that I can cry about my mother when and where ever I want.

Because right now I know. That I have Claire my best friend in the whole wide world , I have the most caring father that ever lived and I have an ambition in life with my new found hobbie , World Hunger Domination.

It all started with hidden tears , the tears that wouldn't come out because I thought I wasn't sad at all , but really hidden can mean two things , Hidden as in cannot be seen or can not even be there , or hidden as in disguised .Hiding those tears to make it look like your crying for someone or something else. In this case my tears were hidden. Disguised as little things like loosing my watch or forgetting my lunch money. Confusing but true.

It all started with hidden tears , but now that I've found those tears , there just tears. Not lost or found . Just small droplets of water that appear in my eyelids every now and again. Hidden or disguised ,they are always there. And every drop is filled with a million emotions and feelings. Happy or sad. Lost or disguised. They are all for her.

* * *

**Hey everyone , hidden tears has now come to an end. I hope you guys liked the ending and liked the whole story in everyone who gave me their advice and feelings throughout the story , thankyou. And thankyou to everone who read it till the end.**

**I'm thinking of doing something different with my next story.**

**Short story , Alice in wonderland and magical. So stay tuned**

**xoxox Sera**


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